Hi, it's the Big Dog Maxim!! ZOOOOMMMMGGGG!!! Sohappysohappysohappyshohappy. The other day Buddy told me "Big Dawg, I iz hosting big kontest for da jumping frends. You iz not 'llowed to be in dis grayt kontest cuz we is brudders. Nananananana!!!!"
Well, first thing I did was go ask mom if little dog was telling the truth, because I really want to join the contest! She said "Dear sweet Maxim, I know you would try really hard. And I think your jumps are beautiful. But darling, you can't even get all four paws off the ground. You really aren't made for jumping, you are more of a wagging dog. You don't have so much bounce in you as you do the bowl-over gene. Plus it wouldn't be fair, you know Buddy would never let you win - it's rigged, just not in your favor love."
Well, I tried real hard to prove her wrong. I jumped up....
I jumped sideways....
I even tried jumping everything! My paws, my ears, my cheeks, I did it all!!
I said, momlookatmelookatmelookatme!!! I did it right???? YAY I CAN BE IN THE CONTEST. Buddy could not possibly deny that awesome skills and form that I exude. Mom gave me some ear rubs and said "Max, love - it's just not fair for you to be in this contest. You can do the next one ok?"
At first I was heartbroken, not even my best girl Lambchop - the destuffed stuffy could cheer me up. Then mom told me about a most important job for me. I am a distinguished judge! holycowholycowholycowiamajudge! Er em, I mean....I am honored. And watch out, I've got my eyes on you!
Judge #1: Maxim Dawg